I WOULD LIKE TO ASK PERMISSION FOR YOUR DAUGHTER’S HAND

It was April 1961 and another year at the U of S was coming to an end. Again I would leave for British Columbia to work with my bothers in their small construction company building custom homes in the Kootenays

It was decision time as for the past four years; I would culture a relationship with a girl in Saskatchewan in the winter only to find that the girls of summer in British Columbia would distract my attention. This was not a travesty but something that the Garden of Eden could not be better in its creation by God.

This year the girl in Saskatchewan became a more meaningful and became a courtship in a manner of speaking. I spent many spare moments between studies, wondering if Marilyn was the one…….. It appeared to me that she was also of the same opinion. What was the next step?

In the manner within which I was raised, it was necessary to ask permission of the would-be betrothed, for her hand, from her father, if was I to be serious. Preparing for an exam in Differential Equations or Physical Chemistry was much easier for me than this seemingly insurmountable, challenge.

How does a young man prepare for this? Her father was a nice enough man and I was able to talk to him on most subjects but this was not to be an ordinary discussion. Besides should I make the request in Russian or English? Do I do this in private? Where should it happen? What do I say?

So it came to be that Marilyn had brought me out to the farm for a break from my studies but I knew deep inside me that, it would have to happen this time or never. It was like stalking a game animal during a hunt and so it was, following my future father-in-law-to-be with my eyes and “dancing” in the discussions; looking for the right time when I could “pop the question”.

I noticed that he had gone outside to the barn and I came to the conclusion that this would be the occasion for sure.

I walked into the barn door, almost stumbling on the threshold and got his attention with “there is something that I have to ask you, if I may”.

“Why not?” he responded with an enquiring look.

I forgot all about custom, language and protocol and blurted out with, “I would like to marry your daughter”. (I did not need to use a name as he only had one daughter, which was a good thing because I have been known to forget names in times of stress and that would have been too embarrassing)

“This sounds too good to share in private, so let’s go in the house and handle it with everyone” he suggested as we proceeded single file to the house. I am still not sure what his answer was going to be at this time.

Well my future father-in-law announced, with a smile, “there was going to be a wedding in the family”.

The hugs and kisses that followed is perhaps the best way to end this story that had this early beginning.

Marilyn and I just spent the best time in our lives this past Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our ten (10) grandchildren, some of their friends, four children and their three (3) spouses.

What is wealth? No money could buy this experience and happiness that Marilyn and I continue to enjoy with our most prized possessions.

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Written December 26, 2010, 1100 hours