CELEBRATION OF LIFE May 25, 2016

I first met Alex when I delivered windows to his new house in Winlaw, many years ago. I have to admit that he impressed me as a straight forward gentleman and our business transaction was very positive..

I later learned that he was:

1. Member of the Kootenay Mens Choir to which I will speak more on tomorrow but I need to mention now:
   1. President
   2. Choir Director
   3. Popular Master of Ceremonies. Many of his stories were a bit embellished and sometimes included Annette to her surprise. He was definitely the popular and anticipated person in:
      1. Trail Rotary Carol Festival
      2. Castlegar Christmas Carol at the Pentecostal Church
      3. Nurses fund-raiser to Guatemala
      4. Seniors Residences
         1. He always had new stories and original jokes that were a bit colored but acceptable. He was our Bob Hope, Red Skeleton and had everyone laughing just as he walked up to the microphone and even before he said anything
         2. Actor when he put on that red dress and was the female conscience of a young man working away from home that wanted to return with him to meet his wife in the song he led.
2. Many times he referred to me as “that guy from Saskatchewan” even though I had lived in B.C. since 1963. Somehow, he would include me in his jokes but that has been the story of my life.
3. Member of the Tri-Choir and travelled to Veregin Saskatchewan to celebrate the provincial 100 year Centennial. He met relatives in Canora to which I became a carrier of Paklunee in both directions
4. Building Committee President of the Kootenay Columbia Seniors Housing Cooperative where he became the designer of the 47 seniors friendly units at Grandview and lived in a bungalow there with Annette right to his passing. We would see Alex riding his bicycle or cross-country skiing to prove he was an active senior. The irrigation system became his interest and for a few years our irrigation was unmatched in operation.
5. I understand that he loved playing ball and coached as well
6. In Curling, there are many echelons of success but not many of us go to the World Championships and so Alex did not achieve that.
   1. Scoring an Eight-Ender (which means every rock on your rink stays to count will get you a badge from the Canadian Curling Association). Alex achieved that
7. In Golf, a Hole-In-One is considered to be a level that is almost as good as winning a major golf tournament. (call Pat Milne at Castlegar Golf Club (CCC)). Scored 76 on his 76th Birthday. Seeing as how 72 is par for professionals, that is a good score. The joke from CCC was that “Alex never showed his wallet except when he had to make change.”
   1. Alex is a medal holder from the British Columbia Seniors Games
8. Alex enjoyed stories about Electricians woulod bring a smile to his face:
   1. A Chemist, a Biologist and an Electrician had all been sentenced to death and were on death row waiting to go to the electric chair. Finally, the day had arrived.The chemist was due to go first. As he strapped him in, the Executioner asked him, “Do you have anything you want to say?”The Chemist replied, “No,” so the Executioner flicked the switch but nothing happened.According to this State’s law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner has to be released. So the Chemist was unstrapped and allowed to walk free.It was the Biologist’s turn next. As he was being strapped in, the Executioner asked him, “Do you have anything you want to say?”The Biologist replied, “No, just get on with it” so the Executioner flicked the switch, but once again nothing happened. So, just like the Chemist, the Biologist was released.Then the Electrician was brought forward. The Executioner asked him, “Do you have anything you want to say?”The Electrician replied, “Yes. If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might just make this thing work.”
   2. What do you call a Russian Electrician? Switchitonov!
   3. Never trust an Electrician with no eyebrows.
   4. Paddy was talking to two of his friends at work. His first friend confided to the other two “I think my wife is having an affair with an Electrician. The other day I came home and found Wire-Cutters under our bed and they were not mine.”The second friend then also confided, “Me too! I think my wife is having an affair with a Plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”Paddy thinks for a minute then says “Well I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both friends look at him in complete disbelief. Paddy sees them looking at him and says “No seriously, the other day I came home early and found a Jockey under our bed.”

:Posted by E Verigin May 27, 2016

Those of you who have grown up in families, where everything was “fixable”, know that no tool kit is complete without at least two different sizes of Side-cutters. If you do not know what this tool looks like ask your student offspring who may be taking “shop” in high school or ask you neighbor who maybe a “handyman”.

I opened the top drawer in our Master Bedroom Bathroom the other day and there looking at me was a small set of Side-Cutters with a rubber band securing the two sides and marked “For Toes”.

I knew that I did not put them there and I suspected that our neighbor Donna (who has been blamed for leaving lights on and taps running around our place) would never do such a dastardly thing, and so I had to humbly ask my “wifey”, “like where did these things drop out of”.

It kills us husbands when our wives put that “knowing look” on their face and answer, “did you try them yet?”

“For toes?” I exclaimed, “you have to be joking!”

“One of these days, you will try it”, and she carried on with whatever women do in the kitchen.

Well I have this toe that has been attacked by those guys that just continue to multiply under the toenail and make it expand to a grotesque and ugly size. Well I don’t wear clogs nor sandals and, had I listened to my deceased neighbor Harry Jukes, I would have walked around barefoot which NeuroScientists suggest would have been much better for us in many ways, including our balance. Probably that may have taken away the “lab” where the fungi slaved away on my toenail in the darkness of my shoes.

After struggling with a large toe-nail clipper, to no avail, I decided to try the Side-cutters (when I knew she was not looking) and lo and behold, they worked like a charm!

Please don’t tell Marilyn as she will turn on that smile and still not say why just to see if I know why.

Written at 0436 hours, on Mother’s Day, May 7, 2016 when I just could not sleep.