“MAGNIFICENT CAPER” AT THE PATRICIA HOTEL, SASKATOON, SAKATCHEWAN

 It was an ordinary evening in 1960 when my roommate and I decided that it was time we went in to the University of Saskatchewan, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, and got our pictures taken for THE GREYSTONE, our college yearbook.

Our friends were staying at the residence and we thought we should pay them a call and see what was happening. Butch and Babe (names are changed) were busy with their studies but welcomed the interruption and we talked about the “heavy grind” and how a guy needs a break every once in awhile.

“Let’s go down to the Patricia Hotel and have a beer” was the suggestion by the residence-bound friends. “Are you guys here on a car?”

“We can drop you off but we cannot stay as we are busy with assignments” was our supportive position.

“That’s fine with us” as they hurriedly put on their jackets for the cold winter outside.

Well Third Avenue was on our way anyway and so we jabbered away at the usual small talk on the trip over the South Saskatchewan River via the 25^th Street Bridge.

“You guys have to come in for one beer” was the pleading invitation. It suggested that our pals really loved us and wanted our companionship and so we relented. What harm could one beer be, anyway? Little did we know what was in store for us and the education that would ensue and that we were perhaps getting “sucked in”?

Just after we entered the lobby, Babe tilts his hat and instructs us to wait right there while he “cases the joint”. I must describe this duo so that the scene can be better understood. Butch was over six (6) feet tall, muscular, very fit and about 230 pounds or more. Babe was about 5’-9” and perhaps 160 pounds at that time. They were both on the U of S Wrestling Team. Butch was the wrestler and Babe was the manager of the team.

Babe comes back and tells Butch that this is an “ideal setup” and in we enter with Babe leading the way and Butch a few paces behind with an inquisitive-looking duo taking up the rear at another few paces.

Well Butch starts hyper-ventilating and his bottom lip began drooping and his forehead formed a bit of a frown, all of which gave the impression of a goon or a very simple person (somewhat uncharacteristic of this straight “A” student in Physics, Calculus, Advanced Mathematics and Languages). Babe led us to two tables in the middle of the bar and pushed them together, directing Butch to sit at one end while the rest of us purposely set ourselves apart from this still heavy-breathing individual who was glaring at everyone in the room and getting equal stares in return.

With a circular sweep, Babe orders “beer all around” as the Barkeep approached this group that was quickly achieving some very obvious attention from the patrons.

The Barkeep was taking no chances when he served the four (4) beers at our end of the assembly of tables. There was no attempt by Babe to pay for the beer as he turned his attention To Butch and cautiously passed over a beer.

Uncharacteristically of the Butch we knew, he grabbed the outstretched glass and literally swallowed the contents in one gulp and continued with his excited state that almost imitated an Ogre with a dribble of a beer remnant dripping from a corner of his mouth.

Well my room-mate and I had about three (3) dollars between the two of us and so the 35 cent beers dug deep into our pockets then to our consternation, Babe stands up on a chair and announces:

“I will give anyone 5 to 1 odds that my man can drink 2 bottles and 2 glasses of beer in 2 minutes” as he suggestively, offered his hat, urging the patrons to meet the challenge. Meanwhile he whispers out of the corner of his mouth so that only we can hear “Butch and I have no money”

You can imagine the lump that came to my throat when I saw the five and ten dollar bills drop into the hat along with the ones, etc. “How are we ever going to stay out of jail tonight” crossed my mind along with “I guess the balance of the year is history now with the fines that we will have to pay”

Babe just carried on until he was convinced that he had all the Gamblers in the crowd committed to the “pot” and continued with exciting the crowd with “synchronize your watches” and with a flick of his hand ordered the beers necessary for the competition (on our tab of course). My room-mate and I “shelled out” and checked the location of the exits so that we could make a hasty retreat when the crowd came after us later.

The Barkeep carefully served the 2 bottles and 2 glasses of beer over to our side of the table while Butch continued with his groping and menacing gestures demanding the beer, Babe reassured Butch while checking with the crowd on their watch settings and then told me to pass the beers, one at a time, to Butch when directed.

“Ten seconds, five, three, two, go…..” and I shakedly passed one bottle while Butch literally swallowed the contents, it appeared, without any noticeable swallow and almost before I could pass the second bottle, Butch grabbed it and performed the same act so that the third item, a glass of beer were all emptied within a minute.

Babe walked over to Butch and stroked his shoulders and soothed him with “relax, don’t worry I will give you the last one” as he had the crowd spell-bound up to the elapse of 1 minute and 45 seconds when he directed me to give Butch the last glass.

A swallow later and the competition was over with the crowd staring in disbelief, not believing what they had just witnessed.

As the room settled down and the discussions carried on at the various tables about what everyone had seen in Whitehorse, Skagway, San Francisco but that this beats all, Babe confessed that they had done this before all along the Northern States while touring with the Wrestling Team from the U of S as a fund raiser for their spending money.

To this day, I am not at all sure of the money raised but my roommate and decided we needed to leave while the opportunity lent itself and left our friends to continue with their “break from studies”

We were speechless for the first part of the trip home and then we agreed that we could not believe what we had witnessed from our enterprising friends.

There is a sequel to this vignette that can only be told verbally and in special company

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