NOTATION LOG DATED: May 09, 2008

LOCATION:  Sheki, Azerbaijan

“…….Here it is 0315 hours and all kinds of thoughts are going through my mind. It is not unusual at this time in my life that I waken and so if this has become the routine, perhaps, using this time efficiently and effectively, is better than to lie there blinking your eyes:

  • Rolling the “reel” of thoughts that are common to my mind processes
  • They say that most brilliant ideas come at this time
  • So recording these thoughts seems to be a better action them letting them slip into oblivion
  • I have experienced “peace” after such positive action and then fallen asleep, even if it is for an hour or two, This time is also efficiently used as it is commonly associated with full relaxation

My thoughts are not a hapless collection of frustrations but usually, at best, a “review” of many things, projects, associations and future objectives that my mind wishes to deal with.

It is at this time that I am able to conceive and debate the alternatives to what has:

  • Already taken place but needs to be reviewed to determine if the entire field has been covered and perhaps there are some “loose ends” that need to be “tightened”.
  • Or events that need to take place in the future and, in particular:
    • Grandview Housing
    • The unfinished Whatshan Lake Retreat
    • What I wish to do with the rest of my life
    • My family

If I am well, this process is very healthy as without any interruption and external interference, this entire process can take place in an orderly manner.

I usually spend or allocate only the time that my mind wants to deal with each issue.

It is only when I feel that I had failed to deal with a matter in a fashion that could have achieved a much greater success, that some guilt and remorse takes away from the elation that results from knowing that I had given it my “best shot”.

On reflection, if I can see that improvements can be made, I then record on my “to do” agenda, an action plan to achieve the goal, that was initiated previously.

This morning, I want to look at my family and my role in that tremendously responsible mission that a husband, father and grandfather needs to take for the rest of his life.

Of course, there is the nonnegotiable love that exists, that is not always felt by the family because it appears that everything else is taken by me as having more importance…………the schedules that take me away from my family functions and those precious moments when attendance would bring joy to my family and I.

Let me reassure all of you, that no one feels more deprived than I do. There is nothing more that would please me is to be there where and when it is all happening.

So then, it is the choices that we all make in life. Where is that place where you need to be at any particular time in your life?

That is, perhaps, a question that none of us can ever receive an answer, as whatever action is taken; there is the alternative that is never yours to experience because your attendance did not take place.

So why am I here? In Sheki Azerbaijan? Well again, love by someone………my Aunty Flo……..my cousin Allan Markin…………, was this their way to show appreciation of what Marilyn and I have done in the past? It may not necessarily be what we did for them, but, I suspect, it had to do with what we may have contributed to society in general.

Allan has already proven his enormous philanthropically gifts to society from his financial assistance, but I believe he wishes to show gratitude to the personal contribution that Marilyn and I have also offered to society.

A simple thank you may not be enough but Allan knows that my personal appreciation will be demonstrated by my continuing search for a more effective difference that can be directed to the greatest public masses, wherever I can.

This entire trip, so far, has opened my eyes to a world that I would not otherwise know; This Eurasian area is totally rife with history and the formation of the world and political environment.

I know that I am only 25% into this trip but I already sense that I have not seen the best of it yet.

Being with Marilyn and also the sister of my mother and my intertwined families is something that deserves to be written about.

Already a “bond” has been established and sensed by the eight (8) members in our group. We have established an “aura” around us that is special in the total sixteen (16) in this Mir party.

We have the two (2) Azeri guides and the two (2) Mir tour leaders that I know will do everything in their power to make this a well worthwhile trip.……….”

********************************** END**************************