ALL ABOUT HANDICAPPED PEOPLE AND BULLYING
One of my objectives for 2013 is to put my opinion forward on this subject. I have experienced bullying since a small child as it was playfully administered by my older siblings and maliciously directed by students in the school I attended. I also wondered about my family members who lived with enormous handicaps and I always wondered how they were able to accept all that in their lives.
This is a chronicle that will outline one point of view.
I used to watch a new brood of chicks on the farm and noted a yearly occurrence where some baby chicks were just not able to cope with the challenges when one hundred (100) of them competed for food, space and shelter. Sooner or later one or two would become “sickly”. It amazed me, as a child, that the other chicks would “pick away” at these poor hapless chick(s). Soon they would just give up and end up pecked away as dead carcasses. Is this a natural trait in all animals!
There was excitement when a brood sow gave birth to a litter of eight (8) to twelve (12) piglets; almost always there would be a runt in that brood. The next day the runt would be missing, which resulted in a question to my parents “there is one missing!”
“Yes”, was the answer, “the sow ate it!” How disgusting! How could a mother eat her own offspring?
The eagle, raven, tern: all seem to have a natural characteristic when a runt chick would result in the nest. Either the other chicks or the parent bird would eat it.
In the instance of my pet cats, a mother would eventually move her litter to another location leaving the runt to die.
I have mentioned just some of the natural incidents that seem to underline the saying “the strong will survive and the weak will perish’!
Wolf and similar animal litters will enjoy “rough play” in their growing process to learn to survive.
My older sister and two brothers, used to enjoy teasing me and taunting me. Although it was playful, as a youngster, it was difficult to understand that it was just “sibling love play”? Perhaps it is a natural instinct that takes place while the growing and maturing is in process in humans as well.
So when children find themselves in a group, it seems that this type of “community association” takes place with the tougher kids picking on the timid and weaker children. Yes, I know it is bullying but it is a natural process amongst animals. As a child I was brought up as a “Consciencus Objector”. This meant that fighting back was not an option. I withstood all types of teasing and was often called “chicken”. It wasn’t until I was in grade six (6) when at noon on a cold winter’s day; I reacted to a Bully who had just brushed my cold nose with his leather mitt. My automatic response was a “haymaker” to his chin, knocking him over. The fellow lay there in disbelief that I had hit him. I am sure he thought, “Was that really Elmer?”He was one of my respected class mates from that day on through to graduation. Is that the way society needs to function? It worked in my instance.
It is my opinion that humans that have handicaps are also “picked on” or bullied mainly because the “bully” can get away with it easier as that seems to be the underlying temptation. I had an uncle that was very hearing handicapped and a granduncle that was visually handicapped. In both instances, although there would be a female member of the family that would be compassionate and caring in each instance, the rest of the family mostly ignored them. I cannot really suggest a reason other than they just had “no time” for them.
I am sure that most of us become impatient with a person with a cane that is preventing us from moving faster in a crowd or that wheelchair crowding into an elevator. It is only in later years that we realize that we too, could become handicapped and only then do we permit ourselves to assist these people when the opportunity should arise.
Nature is now taking away my hearing sense and as the condition continues to deteriorate, my dependability on technology to augment my senses becomes more acute with the years. What I notice more is the inability of friends and relatives to understand that the former self has changed dramatically and cannot participate in normal group discussion. No matter how many times I remind people that I need slower discussion with more enunciation, it is soon forgotten in the next conversation. This is normal in group dynamics as the whole is not prepared to slow down for one part.
I used to watch my mother-in-law who had lost her hearing, in part, due to a slight stroke. She would sit there, smiling, while her family excitedly chatting around her. Soon she would take out her box of recipes and begin sorting them. It would take the group a short time to notice her in this action, only to realize that she was not even understanding their concern as she could not hear them. This is so with my situation now.
One needs to learn the process of participation without making an impact on the rest. This is difficult as one has a tendency to retreat into himself, rather than trying to cope with the situation. More technical development in hearing aids is making the situation bearable but there is no question, one realizes the limitations in the world of most handicapped or challenged people.
On the positive side of this is that during this process of understanding your handicap, one becomes more apt to notice and assist other handicapped people whenever the situation arises. It does provide an opportunity to make one a better person and improve society as a whole.
So the people around me can be interpreted to be bullies in the same manner as I previously described the children and siblings around me. Perhaps they are just being normal living beings in the natural sense.
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Written January 02, 2013, 1325 hours
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everigin said:
Hi lista de emails:
I like your comments but I do not know who you are or where you come from. It would be nice if you could respond accordingly.
Elmer
darrell verigin said:
Thanx for sharing this with me as I can relate to this. In closing I ask if I can share this with my brain injury thank you uncule Darrell Verigin
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2013 03:42:18 +0000 To: darrellverigin@hotmail.com
everigin said:
Darryl:
Thanks you for taking the time to respond and I am excited that you are reading my blog. This type of abuse happens to too many people but they feel too intimidated to admit that they have been bullied and accept this as part of growing up. Perhaps humans can rise above the animal kingdom and be worthy of their position in life here on Earth.
Uncle Elmer
tony pryslak said:
The line between handicapped and normal is not always so well defined as the wheelechair and cane senarios that you describe. A few years back I was in Kenora, Ontario and stopped by Tim Horton’s for a lunch break. There was a substantial line-up and moving very slow. Negative comments were filtering down the line. It turns out that the helper was a young lady who was task-limitted. A few weeks later I came by in the late afternoon and noticed the young lady still working, but at a slowerpace. I thought, now there is a perceptive manager.
Our world cultures operate in a manner where everything must be catagorized and pigeon-holed. Anything and anyone beyond these boundaries gets rejected or is fair game for abuse. We program our children to define their limits and most of us are trapped into this system into our autumn years.
There are some very subtle comments, lack of kindness actions/comments that can be quite hurtfull and have a limiting affect on an individual.
And there is self-abuse that probably fits into bulling. Drugs and alcohol are common abuse/bulling when used excessively. Being a person of less than average stature, I was never one to give into the physical demands put on me by my employers. It was my choice to engage in strenuous work without even consulting my employer. Now my body resembles a zipper bag from repairs to the multitude of hernias. Thank God for surgeons and medicare.
Awarness and education through dialogue are key to reducing the incidents of bullying; those that are self inflicted, I am not sure?
If one of the readers ever sees Elmer with a snowflake on his nose, turn and go the other way. Thanks for getting this ball rolling, Elmer.
Lori Woodhouse said:
Thanks for continuing this conversation. The parallel to the farm animals is a great visual. I too am passionate about the topic of bullying. Where does it start and where does it end. It is up to all of us to make a difference – parents, teachers, and coaches need to educate children; children need to give parents, teachers and coaches a heads up from time to time, to reel them back in when they too may be bullying. Most of us know right from wrong, Would it hurt for us to say something or to show a little compassion? i know I’m wearing a pink shirt on February 27th – Pink shirt day!
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