Those of you who have grown up in families, where everything was “fixable”, know that no tool kit is complete without at least two different sizes of Side-cutters. If you do not know what this tool looks like ask your student offspring who may be taking “shop” in high school or ask you neighbor who maybe a “handyman”.

I opened the top drawer in our Master Bedroom Bathroom the other day and there looking at me was a small set of Side-Cutters with a rubber band securing the two sides and marked “For Toes”.

I knew that I did not put them there and I suspected that our neighbor Donna (who has been blamed for leaving lights on and taps running around our place) would never do such a dastardly thing, and so I had to humbly ask my “wifey”, “like where did these things drop out of”.

It kills us husbands when our wives put that “knowing look” on their face and answer, “did you try them yet?”

“For toes?” I exclaimed, “you have to be joking!”

“One of these days, you will try it”, and she carried on with whatever women do in the kitchen.

Well I have this toe that has been attacked by those guys that just continue to multiply under the toenail and make it expand to a grotesque and ugly size. Well I don’t wear clogs nor sandals and, had I listened to my deceased neighbor Harry Jukes, I would have walked around barefoot which NeuroScientists suggest would have been much better for us in many ways, including our balance. Probably that may have taken away the “lab” where the fungi slaved away on my toenail in the darkness of my shoes.

After struggling with a large toe-nail clipper, to no avail, I decided to try the Side-cutters (when I knew she was not looking) and lo and behold, they worked like a charm!

Please don’t tell Marilyn as she will turn on that smile and still not say why just to see if I know why.

Written at 0436 hours, on Mother’s Day, May 7, 2016 when I just could not sleep.