NOTATION LOG DATED: June 18, 2009

LOCATION:  Mary Khadekin house, Benito, Manitoba

“…….My trip from the “dreaming spot” of yesterday, near our former farmstead, took me along a nostalgic journey as well as to a virtually new area where I have not travelled before.

So I carried on from that corner 2 miles east and 2 miles north of Pelly, and travelled east, 3 miles to a bridge over the Swan River. On my left, I passed sites of the former Doukhobor settlements in 1899. Some telltale original barns still stand defiantly on the north slope of Swan River.

I passed the Jim Vanin homestead where my friend Harry lived with brother Phillip, Leo and sister Vera. I used to walk over there on Sundays and visit and sometimes we would walk over to the bridge where local people gathered for swimming and picnicking in the 1948 – 50 era. The old house and out-buildings stand leaning downhill and to the northeast. Obviously, the original builders didn’t compact the base well enough on the downhill side where settlement likely took place. The buildings were always sheathed with shiplap and it was rare to use diagonal bracing in those days. The buildings had served the original Owners well and now have no purpose since their occupants have passed on.

Past the bridge, the developed and maintained road passes straight north for 4 miles to an intersection of a grid road going east and west. I chose east in the direction of Arran. I couldn’t help noticing the farm houses on this one time important intersection. Both were two storey buildings built by some proud Farmer, but now are leaning to the Northeast. It is quite likely that water drained off the roof on the north side that would not dry out as the sun would heat the southeast corner and the southwest side. Rotting would begin since the foundations were likely stones covered with natural ground since concrete would be expensive and little known at that time.

My eyes lit up about 3 miles east along this grid road when I passed a historic site with a sign “Podolia School” on the right side. The locals must have improved the grounds as I recall the school being moved to Pelly back in 1954. I had never been here but I had heard so many people talk about it since it was a popular and enthusiastic Ukrainian community at one time with many dances on weekends, sports days, ball tournaments, etc.

What was disappointing and sad is that no one occupied any of these buildings nor seemed to reside on the farms anymore. The roads are all maintained gravel surfaced and raised high to permit snow drifting over and beyond so that little, if any snow plowing would be necessary. Just when mankind developed methods to keep all season access to the farms open and passable, everyone chooses to live in urban communities now. There is no need to stay on the farm as there is no sign of cattle, pigs, chickens, geese, ducks, horses and all other animals that a Farmer used to raise and needed to care regularly. No one wants to do this anymore.

I understand that now a “small farm” is about 3,000 acres as an economic unit. It ranges upward to 40,000 acres or more for a corporate Farmer. Let’s understand that a 3,000 acre farm (using 80% tilled land), represents 10 sections at 360 acres each. This means that a “small farm” about 10 square miles. In my day (1958), the average small Farmer owned about ¾ section or ¾ square miles. So now 1 family farms what over 13 families used to make a living on in the past.

What a travesty! This explains why there is no more rural population left and all the smaller communities are disappearing.

Just think about it, the 40,000 acre farm is really 133 1/3 sections or square miles approximately. There used to be 177 families in that space or based on 3 persons to a family, or 531 people. This represents a small village with schools, stores, etc., that does not exist anymore

War was never that devastating!

It boggles my mind to understand the impetus behind destroying the “small farm” unit. These were the people who tilled the land in the first instance and produced a “mixed” farming yield. Someone needs to explain what is so efficient and that Canada produces more now that we have pushed the people off the land, where they  were environmentally clean, to urban settlements with all its problems of sewage treatment, water purification issues and don’t forget about the increased  crime. The children have nothing to do in the city and so entertainment is doing something they should not rather than the hundred or so pursuits that are available in the rural scene.

With all this thinking, I arrive in the small hamlet of Arran. The 4 former elevators are gone, the school is shut down and what are left are a few weather beaten buildings along a deserted street.

Ah yes, the hotel appears to be still open where I snuck in for a beer when I was 15 back in 1954. Nothing here has changed except that there was no one in the bar. “No, we don’t have any beer on tap”, the chunky lady advised me after she walked out of somewhere. The waitress in the adjacent Coffee Shop (3 small tables and 3 guys having coffee) had called her out.

“Okay, I will have a Kookanee (I noticed that advertisement on the wall about having this proud product from Creston, B.C), then”, I replied. There was progress as this bar knew what good beer was all about.

Yes, the old Catholic Church still stands along with adjacent Hall where many Ukrainian weddings have been enjoyed by the Parishioners over the years. Yes, I remembered them along with the bountiful tables laden with peorogies, duck, goose, pork, holipschi, hams and all kinds of Ukrainian delicacies. Yes, then the “Harelka” in disguised teapots, as ”Harbatee” (tea).

I leave the dilapidated houses that used to be residences of some very pretty girls as I recall with a smile and I enter Highway 49 and turn left to Benito, Manitoba.

There are still some Farmers living on their farms on this stretch of highway along with the remains of others that indicate a happier and more productive time. I pass over what I used to believe to be a ‘large” creek, Bear Creek and then see the sign to Vesna Road. Oh yes, that brings back more memories of dances in my time.

Vesna Hall dances used to be entertained by a fiddle, guitar, accordion and if the Sponsor could afford it, some drums. The repertoire was very Western with some “Rock” creeping in. The girls were usually sitting with their backs to the band, looking to the door to see what “hunks” may walk in from the preoccupation with a few “bracing shots”, so that enough courage can be advanced to actually ask one of these girls to dance (that is assuming that one knew how to dance). When the boys did drift in, they usually formed a stag line with each pushing the other forward to the embarrassment of the hapless guy. Soon, it would all unfold and dancing did take place and sometimes, partnerships for the evening would evolve.

One must remember that once you cross that floor to ask a girl to dance, you need to be sure that she would. So “eye contact” was the communication necessary to ensure “success”. A rejection could precipitate a “domino effect” with other girls not wanting to be a “second fiddle”. The pressure that befell a guy at this social event was unreal. I recall it well! This should have been recorded on a video as the audience, today, would think it all hilarious.

Sometimes the stag line would erupt in a fight. Usually a guy is “unsteady” after being outside too long and the lights within the Hall can be blinding. An unintentional (sometimes intentional) brush into another guy, who may also be having problems standing erect, could easily erupt to “who in the hell do you think you are?” With a response of “what’s it to you?” The rest of the guys, sensing entertainment, would push them outside to settle it.

Sometime later, they both come back in after resolving the dispute with a few bruises and a conciliatory drink or two and the scene could repeat itself.

Now I have arrived in Benito. The elevators are gone too. A large sign near the curling rink announces “Home of the Wrench”, the world class Curler from Benito that took a world title in curling.

Benito seems to hold its own as there are new houses along with the well-maintained older houses. The main street has only one small grocery, a building supply store and a restaurant that is open sometimes. Some of the other establishments try to eke out a business while most of the populace travel the 40 km to Swan River which has all the services, high school, restaurants, motels, etc., of a bustling community of about 4,000.

Then I arrive at sister Mary’s place. John and her built it in about 1960 and Mary will likely be there until she passes on as her love for John and her memories linger within that house even though 25 years have passed.

Mary will always be Mary, a loving sister and always ready to receive family and friends.

The usual hospitality, a good night’s sleep and now I am awaiting Mary to wake up and wash and do her special breakfast. I have already finished my 3^rd cup of coffee.

I am due to return to the White Sand Retreat right after breakfast….………….”

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NOTATION LOG DATED: August 05, 2012, 1210 hours

LOCATION:  The Hangar, Front Street, Juneau, Alaska.

“……I left Granny to do her thing; shopping, of course. We decided to meet at the Lost Saloon at 1400 hours to touch base. Rick and Lori took the Tourist Boat to see the big glacier, a real tourist must see!

We all walked to the Mendenhall Glacier, yesterday. It was very impressive! I am thinking that the Cruise Ships don’t give much except dump everyone into the “Tourist Trap” along the wharf. I still wonder why anyone would actually buy a diamond at these places. They must be at least four times the regular prices anywhere else but there are Jewelers every second shop. So they must get enough business to remain open.

I have been thinking about the temptations to feel sorry for oneself. How easy it is to believe that your personal situation is worse than that of anyone else. But that is the challenge…….to rise above self pity. I am thinking more about the idea of our spirits being “recycled” back to Earth. Okay, transgression, to use the terminology associated with that subject.

So we are sent here to learn more about our spiritual well being. I favor the understanding that we are sent here to improve upon what was in place when we arrived. So our objective is to challenge all odds and create and develop a greater Earth to be enjoyed by those who follow us. One may refer to it as a pioneering mission.

To complain and find excuses why we cannot achieve is not in the plan. So when I allow myself to be trapped by my hearing challenges and succumb to self-pity, this is definitely not the situation that I should allow myself to enter. The objective is to take control of oneself, and launch ourselves through these mists and smile. Not only smile, but make others feel great. So I need to “kick my ass” more often than I do so that I rarely enter those moods.

It starts with one negative thought and it seems to attract and amass like a snowball rolling down a hill. Until I suffocate by it all and I become a disturbing person to be around and live with.

It is probably no different than the process I used to overcome Agoraphobia attacks that I used to have. To find that key moment when you are drifting into that mindset and jump out of it in time. Start positive thoughts and rekindle creative energy again. Well, alright, that is definitely what needs to be the process that I should use whenever those conditions come into play.

This trip with the Woodhouses has been tough on me as I am not used to lying around and sleeping in like everyone else. So when everyone has extra energy, I am already wavering and wilting away, ready to go to sleep.

Also the enthusiasm of Lori to go and see everything is actually stressful and a shock to my system as I am surprised, firstly, that someone else wants to lead. It seems that what I used to do but now I am unable to handle it. This is also strange to me and I need to deal with it better than I am as I have another two full weeks to go before it is all over.

I am writing this all down as it is possible that the future readers of all these “musings” will find strength and conviction to stimulate themselves effectively in a positive manner, rather than wandering aimlessly in the “hinterland” like I have been doing from time to time.

I need to research this magnetism theory, that the Sun’s activity with the related surges of energy, are simultaneously transmitted to Earth’s magnetic actions. That has to affect the way all living and inanimate things act and function.

The entire research into crop circles and the perfect patterns that are created, almost instantaneously, are rumored to be a direct result of magnetism, triggered by forces still not understood by mankind.

Look at the perfection of a bird’s coloring and feather patterns. Obviously this is all part of Nature’s “memory card”

And so, I believe that this magnetism has everything to do with our bodily functions. Changes that occur in magnetism, influence the way we act, think and love.

We cannot change the Earth’s revolution going counter clockwise nor its revolving anticlockwise around the Sun and our tendency to race in a counterclockwise direction. It is all part of Nature’s systematic patterns.

Our entire body is basically Oxygen, Carbon and Hydrogen that have associated  themselves as elements in complex molecules. All cells are complete with “memory cards” that guide them to recreate again and again.

So this active sequence is absolutely impossible to comprehend by a human mind which in itself is an even more complex process of cells and molecules.

I guess, perhaps, I am a victim of natural processes that my body has inherited but it is even more important that I allow my spirit to influence me in a more continual basis so that I may control my body better.

Well okay, I will pay my bill for Fish chowder (they did not have Clam chowder) and Salmon ½ sandwich and carry on to the “trysting place” with Marilyn.

Besides, I need to write a few more verses to the “Northern Journey” about the Juneau experiences..………….”

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NOTATION LOG DATED: June 17, 2009

LOCATION:  2 miles East and 2.25 miles north of, Pelly, SK.

“…….I am on location atop of a hill in the middle of a road allowance where in 1957 and 1958, I used to stand and dream of my future.

From this vantage point, I look east and I used to see 4 elevators in Aaron, which is situate on the South side of Swan River some 10 miles East of Pelly. There is still the rolling farm lands, interspaced with clumps of poplars which likely hide a swampy area or maybe where the rocks picked in the field were stored out of the way of farming equipment, or maybe a sharp drop-off, too difficult to farm. The elevators of Aaron are long gone along with their legacy of the small farmer of another era.

I look North and I see the road allowance carved out of the forest on the North Side of the Swan River which never had a bridge to cross (as was the government plan where a bridge is built every 5 miles or every 5^th roadway that goes along the West / East customary flow of the Saskatchewan Rivers). It remains as before. On this side of the river, the old Martin (name change from Martinuik) house stands defiantly although settlement from many frost heaves, are taking their toll and it will eventually collapse as it is drifting Northeast with the prevailing winds. The barns have disappeared but the log structure chicken coop proudly stands as it always has. No one has lived there for some time. Perhaps this was the status since Mr. Martin, himself, moved out about 1960, after his wife and sons left him due to family disputes. There does not seem to be any attempt to break the land under the clumps of trees that dot the landscape and make farming very difficult and expensive to maneuver the cultivating equipment.

West, the view remains the same. The original pasture land remains treed and likely, continues to cover the rocky soil underneath and the reason for no cultivation.

South is the corner of the Verigin homestead on the West side of the road allowance going South and South of the road allowance going West. My memories recall the countless hours of brush breaking, burning brush, root picking and then picking stones to create about 250 acres of arable land from the 320 acre half-section available. I just drove through it and the low spots have been allowed to return to the original sloughs with willows surrounding them. It seems so obvious now that the entire ½ section, slopes gently from West to East and could easily be drained so that 100% of the land could be usable, It appears that would be an economic thing to do but the current Land Owner may not have thought of that or just does not care.

So it was here, on this spot, that my dreams were conceived:

• Would I graduate from high school and go on to College?
• Would I marry?
• Where would my wife come from?
• Would I have children?
• How many would I have?
• What would they be called?
• What would my occupation be?
• Where would I live?

All has unfolded as it should. It is 2009 and it is 50 years later and I now know all the answers!

A feeling of melancholy overcomes me as I remember all the people that have lived in this vicinity, they too, tried to achieve and left the area for better places and perhaps an occupation besides farming. The land continues to produce under the care of new Farmers who also are striving for success for themselves, financially and take responsibility for supplying food for the needs of the world’s populace.

The birds still sing here. The crows still caw but all else is still because the Farmers only till their soil but once these days. They partially till the stubble from last year, inject their mixture of fertilizer, weed killer along with the seed and it is done! One more smash of weed-killer after the grain is up and then they wait for ripening and harvest.

Somehow the old way of watching tractors tilling summer fallow all summer is missing from the agricultural landscape.

And so I realize what is happening here and my purpose for coming here. My Spirit wishes to reflect in exactly the same place so that it may encourage me to continue with the rest of what I need to do in this life.

My 51 years are on record but I must record some of those experiences in print while I attempt to live the rest of my life, satisfied, that I do have a purpose to fulfill.

That which I have accomplished is satisfactory but there is more to come…………….”

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